In this time of heartbreak and fear, keep writing.

file_000-25Writing is an escape for me. It is an escape for many of us who craft words into stories, and stories into experiences for others. The process of writing fiction has always been cathartic because it allows us to step outside of our own lives and into lives of our own imagining. Who doesn’t want to disappear for awhile into a world of their own making; where unemployment checks, past-due bills and the uncertain state of nation and world affairs don’t have an influence? Who doesn’t want to temporarily shed the weight of reality in favor of the soaring reach of dreams?

That is the intention, anyway.

The past few months have left me paralyzed. The past week alone has left me gasping for enough breath to scream. I, along with millions of people, have witnessed the rending of the seams of the fabric of American society, leaving behind something that is wholly unrecognizable, but nevertheless horrifying on an unfathomable scale. For me, events have flickered over my computer screen, over my TV screen, with painful speed, as I struggled as though underwater to grasp what exactly every new executive order means for me. For the people I love. For my friends of all walks of life. For millions of innocents I have never met but for whom my heart is shattering.

Since November 9th, I have written few words.

I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried. But I couldn’t find them. I still don’t know whether I have. Certainly not enough for what has transpired at the hands of the new American president (I will NEVER say his name). I will say that there are some eerie parallels between certain recent executive orders and certain events that take place in my dystopian YA novel-in-progress. Looming conflicts with peoples from sovereign nations, the catastrophic decommissioning of environmental protections. A villain who is a vain, power-hungry opportunist whose primary “tragic” flaw, and obstacle, is his own malignant narcissism. But who could have predicted the real-life Resistance would be led by Teen Vogue and the park rangers? (Also, I would pay good money to read THAT story.)

I digress. I’ve reached an epiphany of sorts this week, as immigrant families were turned away at airports and as millions of people became fearful once again of losing control over their health. As women across the world grew more uncertain about the autonomy they had over planning their families. As arts programs were pushed onto the federal budget chopping block and as truth-tellers in the press… the “fourth branch of government” and the American public’s last line of defense… continued to be berated with threats and scorn from the President of the United States. As all of these travesties were legitimized by inaction from Congress, and as lies were turned into “alternative facts.” As things got as bad as we all feared, and then worse.

As scared and as heartbroken as I feel right now, I’ve realized that the one real power I have left is my voice. The ability to use it in unison with millions of others, as we reach out to our elected representatives. The ability to use it to educate the ignorant, to further the ideas of intersectional feminism, conservation, equal rights for all. The ability to reach people through storytelling, to document atrocities, to analyze, to critique… and also to set free the dream, to imagine a better world, to fight back against the terribleness of this one with the things I need to say. The words I must find. It costs me nothing to do this. It costs me everything to stop.

We can never stop.writersresist

In this time of heartbreak and fear, keep writing.logo

As people in power do their best to destroy everything we’ve built, keep writing.

As marginalized groups come under attack, find the writers among them and raise their voices up. We need their voices, now more than ever.

As we push on into this uncertain and definitely unprecedented future, keep writing.

Keep writing, my fellow word warriors.

Keep.

Writing.

 

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Grandpa

I would like to share with you a story, of an extraordinary man, as seen through the eyes of his grandchildren.

The following eulogy was written with love for Melvin Eugene Anderson (1932 – 2016), and read at his Celebration of Life on Saturday, September 3rd, 2016.

 

We are here to celebrate the life of Melvin Anderson.

And what a life it was! I look around here today, and I see the absolute and undisputed proof of that. Everyone here knew him and loved him. You maybe knew him as a colleague, or as your favorite high school teacher. Maybe you knew him as “Coach.” Or as a mentor. Or as a friend. As a brother, or brother-in-law. Or the fun uncle. He was so many things to so many people.

In our family, he was husband and partner… and Dad… and then Grandpa… and then, even, Great Grandpa.

I knew him as my Grandpa Mel. I was a few days old the first time we met, and I didn’t know at the time how lucky I would be to have him in my life for the next 33 years. As I got to know him as Grandpa, I also got to know him by another name: Hero. He is and will always be my hero. He is a hero to all of his grandchildren. And I would love to tell you why…

As a child, growing up with a grandfather like Mel was magical. There is no other word for it. Grandpa absolutely loved children and they loved him right back. Even babies who were going through that phase, where they are terrified of any and all strangers, loved Grandpa. There is a reason for that. He was playful, and hilarious. And he was full of joy… a quiet but infectious joy, that remained in a constant simmer, bubbling just beneath the surface. Until he laughed. We can all hear his laugh. It was a pure, contagious laugh. And he never, ever hid from you how much he loved and cared about you. He made you feel safe. He gave you the space to make discoveries, and then he experienced your surprise, your awe, your wonder at the world, right along with you. No question was too silly, no story too tedious. He listened to you with his whole heart.

File_001 (3)There is a consensus among Mel’s grandchildren that the summer days we spent at Grandma and Grandpa’s house on Lake Andrew, were and remain some of the best and happiest times of our lives. We looked forward to the weeks when our parents would drop us off together and we’d get our grandparents all to ourselves. It was better than summer camp, because we would get to spend time with two people who loved us more than anything. And because of the unlimited supply of chocolate chip cookies and peanut M&M’s Grandpa would sneak for us before meals, when Grandma wasn’t looking. It was probably because of the days we spent on the water, and how obliging Grandpa was when we begged him to drag us behind the boat on an inner tube. Or when he would haul out the old boxing gloves and let us take turns sparring with him.

Many of my favorite memories of Grandpa Mel involve his singing. He was always singing. Whether it was an actual song, or just an impromptu singsong he’d make up for you in greeting, you couldn’t always tell, but he always got my attention through song. He had a rich, baritone singing voice that carried across a room. He used it in church choir, he used it in the car with the radio loud, he used it to send his grandkids off to their nighttime dreams. Many times he would start singing out of the blue, and even if you didn’t know the words to the song you found yourself singing along.

Quite a few times we’d all time our visits to be at the lake together for the Fourth of July, which was a big deal for everyone because of the Lake Andrew boat parade. We would spend hours decorating the boat (and ourselves) with red-white-and-blue ribbons, bows, and flags, and Grandpa would take the grandkids out in the lead boat, puttering along the shoreline while other boats, the neighbors and residents from all around the lake, fell in line behind us. We thought we were kind of a big deal.  

As we grew up, our love for the time we spent with Grandpa never faltered. Ever the teacher, he loved teaching his grandchildren various things: mainly about life, and how fun it could be. And we each have our own favorite memories with him.

One time, Emily ventured into town with him, for ice cream and to visit the school where he taught, and a detour took them to several car dealerships, where they test-drove expensive cars that he had no intention of buying. Emily remembers that Grandpa let her take the wheel of the big flashy Cadillacs, driving through the country back-roads and dirt farm lanes winding through the New London and Spicer areas; she was 13.

File_000 (4)From a very young age, I remember reading storybooks with Grandpa. Apparently I was always pretty adamant about it. Most photos of the two of us also feature a book, front and center. When Grandma and Grandpa purchased their first computer, I would spent hours in front of it, typing out story after story of my own, and adamantly requesting they read them. Even if he was in the middle of watching a game on TV, Grandpa never complained. Along with Grandma, who remains my biggest cheerleader, he encouraged my imagination and sparked my love for writing and for storytelling. A few years later, I wrote my first novel.

Angela remembers endless summer days spent on the lake, taking the boat out with Grandpa, and how he taught her to drive it, even when she didn’t think she could. And how most nights, before bedtime, the two of them would create epic ice cream sundaes together: mountains of ice cream, hot fudge, butterscotch, and whipped cream. Ice cream was their tradition, and it was always delicious.

Michael spent a lot of afternoons out in the driveway with Grandpa at the Lake Andrew house, where Grandpa had set up an NBA-regulation- height basketball hoop (or at least it felt that way when you were 3 or 4 feet tall). When Mike was little, Grandpa never tired of giving him a boost up so he had a better chance of getting the ball through the hoop, until he was tall and strong enough for Grandpa to teach him how to make a 3-pointer. You could also find Mike and Grandpa fishing for hours together, off the dock, or hitting golf balls down the fairway at the golf club nearby.

14207618_1100899406684717_4362841538470418982_oEven as a toddler, it was evident Jared would also share Grandpa’s love of sports. He would attend basketball games with “Coach” as a baby. When he was a little older, Jared learned how to golf from Grandpa, who was an excellent golfer in his own right, and from Grandpa Mel he took away a deep appreciation and love of the sport; the times on the course with Grandpa have been some of highlights of his life. Jared also found fun with Grandpa at the basketball hoop, and from playing baseball with him in the yard.

And then there was the time Grandpa took four teenagers to Valleyfair. By himself. And held his own. Watching your grandfather, sitting alongside you, fall 300 vertical feet on the Power Tower is an ego check for a high-schooler. We were not embarrassed to be hanging out with him that day.

The thing about children is that they grow up and turn into adults. But in this family, we still had our magic, and we got to keep it for a long time. We still had Grandpa Mel, who loved his family more than anything. And we kept making memories with him, through high school and college graduations; road trips to the Black Hills, to Florida, to Colorado; and Christmas spaghetti dinners. Through Grandpa dancing with his first granddaughter at her wedding. Through the births of four great-grandchildren. The time we could spend with our grandparents was precious time; and as adults we truly began to understand and appreciate just how precious it was.

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The Anderson clan, circa 1993. Lake Andrew, New London, MN.

These memories tell the story of how we, Mel’s grandchildren, knew him best. This is our story of Grandpa Mel, who shaped our lives for the better and who we will always love with all of our might.

All of us here today have our own wonderful memories of Mel Anderson, and who he was to us… what he meant to us. He is a hero to us in many different ways, for many reasons.

So in closing, I’d like to share with you something I wrote a few days after he passed. I wrote it about him, for him, and because of him. It’s about heroes.

  • Heroes aren’t only found in storybooks; they are real people, flesh and blood.
  • Heroes are larger than life. They inspire us through their examples; they inspire us to be the best versions of ourselves.
  • Heroes are selfless. They love deeply, and they protect the people they love.
  • Heroes guide us. They teach us about the world, and how to find our way through it. And when we are ready, they gently push us to follow the paths that call to our longing hearts.
  • Heroes wield a courage that awes us. Even when time takes its toll on their bodies and their minds. They fight to stay, to give their loved ones one more day, one more week, one more year.
  • Heroes give us hope. They teach us about the strength we have in ourselves, even when we don’t see it. When grown grandchildren take turns holding their grandfather’s aged hand and laugh in delight at their memories – when they were small but sat tall on his shoulders as he galloped across the lawn – and they know that feeling of invincibility will stay with them always.
  • Heroes live forever. We take them with us, as we go on through life, telling their stories and using the lessons they’ve taught us.
  • We sing their songs, we carry their names and their deeds, we hold their memories fast and close. And they live on.

Mel Anderson – Grandpa – brought us far, with his love and his strength, through the years. We were so lucky to have him. And now we will share our stories of him with our children, and among future friends, and with each other. We will remember what we learned from him. We will celebrate his memory and hold him close to our hearts. And he will live on.

File_002 (43)Dedicated to the memory of Mel Anderson
(1932 – 2016)

Loving husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather… and hero.

Written for him, and for his beloved wife Jeanne, with love by their granddaughter Jennifer.

 

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Heroes

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A hero and his granddaughter, circa 1984

I want to tell you a few things, about heroes.

Heroes aren’t only found in storybooks; they are real people, flesh and blood.

Heroes are larger than life. They inspire us through their examples; they inspire us to be the best versions of ourselves.

Heroes are selfless. They love deeply, and they protect the people they love.

Heroes guide us. They teach us about the world, and how to find our way through it. And when we are ready, they gently push us to follow the paths that call to our longing hearts.

Heroes wield a courage that awes us. Even when time takes its toll on their bodies and their minds. They fight to stay, to give their loved ones one more day, one more week, one more year.

Heroes give us hope. They teach us about the strength we have in ourselves, even when we don’t see it. When a grown granddaughter holds her grandfather’s aged hand and laughs in delight at a memory – when she was small but sitting tall on his shoulders as he galloped across the lawn – and knows that feeling of invincibility will stay with her always.

Heroes live forever. We take them with us, as we go on through life, telling their stories and using the lessons they’ve taught us.

We sing their songs, we carry their names and their deeds, we hold their memories fast and close. And they live on.

In loving memory of Mel Anderson
March 9, 1932 – August 21, 2016

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The art of being happily alone, a “Stormriders” update, and some other miscellany.

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No Internets mean much writings.

A solo weekend getaway would usually be considered an odd choice for me. I like people, generally. However, being bombarded with so many distractions (of political and sporting nature) this summer has not been conducive to fulfilling my commitments as a writer, and to myself. The distractions add up. With all the negativity and stress hanging around society lately, a weekend away from humans (physically and digitally) sounded like a phenomenal plan. An uncle owns a gorgeous piece of land on Little Alden Lake, a stone’s throw northwest of Duluth. And so, last weekend I ventured into the Great Northern Wild Pine Forests of Minnesota, with only my dog Layla (with the very real title of Bear Scarer bestowed upon her) in tow, and with the very real intention of disappearing from the rest of humanity for 72 hours. Minimum.

From my journal, the morning after I arrived:

Twenty-five minutes outside the city, and the pavement turns to dirt and gravel. The forest presses in on you as you take the winding road, which you begin to think is taking you into the bowels of a forest purgatory, or toward some hidden backwoods colony of survivalists; you try to ignore the banjos playing the theme from “Deliverance” in your head. You shouldn’t have started the journey after sunset… what were you thinking?
 
The moment when you are absolutely, hysterically certain you have lost your way and your fate is to be eaten by the bears, you are there. Ahead lies a little idyll of certainty in the heart of darkness. An A-frame cabin and a few outbuildings nestle between fully grown pines that soar into the black overhead. A precariously handmade stairway of stones create a path down a shaded slope to the lake. The property is surrounded by a thick ring of pine trees and underbrush, muffling the presence of the few neighbors who live there year round.

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Little Alden Lake, a.k.a. The Perfect Place On Earth

You turn off the ignition and are immediately aware of the utter absence of sound. The nocturnal creepy-crawlies, momentarily disturbed by the intrusion of bright car headlights, have fallen silent. You look up, and as your eyes adjust, you see the blackness has dissolved into a cacophony of the brightest stars you have ever seen. You could swear they are only a few inches from your face, for how bright and clear they are.

Your dog’s low, uneasy growl snaps you back to earth. She stares intently beyond the circle of light from your high beams, as if she can sense something out there, waiting beyond the trees. And, then out of nowhere, the unearthly shriek of a loon warbles up from the water, echoing through the trees. Your heart jumps into your throat. You run inside. You will unpack tomorrow.

You may be thinking I was thinking I’d made a big mistake. Nothing could be further from the truth. Being utterly alone for those three days was exactly what I needed.

Some people call it recharging their batteries. I call it an exercise in focus.

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Nature + wine = happy tingles. Thanks, Science.

Aside from the massive amounts of writing I was able to accomplish in the massive void left behind by the Internet, there are several moments from the weekend I can pinpoint, where I was not doing a whole lot. Waking with the morning and walking out onto the deck that faces the lake, watching Layla chase frogs in the grass, feeling the sun’s warm kiss on my skin, drinking in the scenery with my coffee, merely thinking about my novel… and I would feel this strange tingly buzz that started somewhere under my ribs and spread through my arms and legs, to my fingers and toes, flowing up my spine and prickling across my scalp.

I don’t know if there’s a word that can accurately explain that feeling (“Endorphins?” asks Science), but maybe I’ll call it the body’s reaction to the brain’s realization of pure and utter joy. Contentment. Confidence in the knowledge that when I did sit down to write, I would write and write and write. I was so happy I was tingly. Everyone should be able to feel that feeling.

So, I say, seek out the places that make you tingly. Take a break from the places that squeeze, that apply pressure, that weigh down, that pull apart. Unplug. Be by yourself for a weekend, a day, an hour even. Give yourself the space to rest, “recharge,” refocus. Let your senses take in the small things in those moments. The fluid sparkle of sunlight on the water. The surprising complexity of loon song. The squelch of mud between your toes. The hilarity of a hound dog learning what a frog feels like in her mouth (the frog survived). The late summer wind that already has a crisp bite to it, hinting of an early autumn. On a tree branch of a thousand green leaves, espying the one with a reddish tinge. How the wine in your glass tastes different as you breathe in the scent of fresh pine.

Allow yourself the pleasure of being alone.


STORMRIDERS UPDATE:

During my voluntary absence from human contact, I was able to complete the next chapter in “Stormriders.” For more information about the story, and to read the first 4 chapters free, you can visit my Stormriders page.

 NEW STUFF

While some of my other writing projects have taken a backseat to Stormriders (I’m only human, and just one!) I am still incrementally moving them forward. My Tanzania travel memoir survived its second edit, and I’m working on the specifics for getting that out into the world. Namely, to Amazon.com or not to Amazon.com. I would be appreciative of any feedback from my fellow indie authors, regarding alternative print-on-demand and e-book vendors. Which vendors are your favorites? What as worked for you, and what hasn’t?

I’ve also got a few short story ideas in my head that I will undoubtedly make available for free here, on my site, in the near future. More on that down the road!

The Power and Authenticity of Fictional Languages

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Research! (Book cover courtesy of author Robert Hendrickson and illustrator/cover designer Cathy Rincon)

Creating a new dialect ain’t easy.

During my worldbuilding endeavors for my serial novel, Stormriders, I discovered that some of the people who lived in the World I Built spoke an interesting hodge-podge creole of Appalachian English and Pirate English vernacular. Interesting, but tricky. I’d never created a dialect before. Luckily, I have been able to research to my heart’s content because The Interwebs. And what I’m finding is fascinating!

I’ve learned that there are dictionaries, encyclopedias, and other reference materials out there for just about every language that exists or has ever existed on the planet. And many of those are free!

I’ve learned that Appalachian English remains the closest still-spoken dialect on earth to the language of Shakespeare (Hendrickson, 1997).

I’ve learned that Pirate English is a dialect that is actually spoken by more real-life people today that I could have imagined.

I’ve learned that creating a language, even a creole dialect of English language variations, is HARD. But as words fly out of my main character’s mouth and onto the pages of my story, it’s apparent how worthwhile the effort is.

Language brings authenticity to the world you’ve created.

World-building is one of the most enjoyable writing exercises for me. And why wouldn’t it be? Science fiction and fantasy authors the world over have created some of the most vibrant, beautiful worlds I’ve ever pictured inside my head via the words on their pages. And all of those worlds came replete with rich geographical, climatological, political, and cultural details.

I’m no J.R.R. Tolkien. Inventing a brand new language from scratch (as Tolkien did multiple times for The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings) is daunting in a way I can’t fully voice. Perhaps Tolkien felt similarly as he began wandering through the World He Built. Perhaps not… he was a philologist, after all.

Thankfully, for the purposes of my story and the world I’ve built for Stormriders (which takes place in a post-apocalyptic former North America), I did not have to invent a new language from scratch. But for one group, the Shoalfolk of the Carolina Shoals (a string of low-lying islands and cays that formerly comprised the Appalachian highlands, before catastrophic flooding devastated the low-lying continental United States over millennia), it felt inappropriate to neglect to honor that rich culture that, to this current day, reflects the linguistic cadences and phrasing of Elizabethan English.

In order for readers to believe in your characters, you have to be able to answer questions about every aspect of the world in which your characters were born, grew up, and have embarked upon their journeys. Language is one of those critical aspects (and I would argue, perhaps one of the most important), which can shape a culture and bring authenticity to your characters themselves, as they move through the world you’ve tirelessly imagined.

And it’s a big, big world out there, indeed.

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